For The People

Dealing with the Festive Relationship Break Up

Although Christmas is a time set aside for celebrations, a study conducted by journalist David McCandless showed that two weeks before Christmas is peak break up time.

 At this time of the year, families organise reunions and parties. This is also a good time to introduce your partner to the family.

Unfortunately, it is also the time you hear of break ups between lovers. Christmas period is a time that marks where you are at in your relationship.

The reasons are manifold; end of year reflecting, wanting to cut ones losses before years end, an attempt to avoid introducing a significant other to family, the pressure to buy an expensive gift can also be the final straw for many romances. Factor in seasonal rates of stress, anxiety and depression and the festive season is a ticking time bomb for relationships that aren’t in the whole of their health.

The people who do not have plans for their relationships commonly use this opportunity to break the news to their families that they are no longer continuing with their love lives.

This is a very bad time to break up with your lover, it is even preferable if the break up takes place before the Christmas period, right? However, this time of year basically throws the strength and longevity of relationships into sharp focus and ends the weakest.

Adding children into the mix at a time that has huge importance to them can also aggravate an already difficult situation. Safeguarding festive traditions is one thing, but arranging them with minimal blowback is quite another. Now more than ever is the time to work as a team – if only to avoid buying the same presents.

If children are involved in a break up, it can make it more complex as their needs have to be accommodated, particularly around presents and access, it may feel like your ex is pulling a fast one and some of your old patterns become activated again.

Try to keep the children’s needs to the forefront – it’s not easy but there is evidence that says that adults seem to adjust better when the needs of the child are prioritised.

This is not to instill fear into you, but to let you know the reality of a relationship break up. Common though the festive split is, it’s still a particularly hard time to endure heartbreak. Although, whatever the time of year, the rules for recovery remain largely the same.

Going through a grieving period is necessary including every stage of dealing with grief. Accepting that will help the moving on process. Understanding that feeling terrible is natural as the blueprint of your future needs to be completely remodeled and filling the gap that person left in your life will be hard. Taking your time, talking about your feelings and crying it out are all stages that will quicken your recovery.

By all means, try and enjoy your Christmas, but stick with close family and friends who will mind you and understand that you’re feeling upset so you don’t need to put on a brave face.

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